Dreaming the Future

I never thought I would go to university because there was nothing that took my fancy, nor did I know what I wanted to do with my life. I took time out to work. One day I had a reading from an aura reader who saw me going to university. I didn't believe her as I didn't feel it was my path. I was simply interested in writing. After taking some writing courses, I decided to enrol for a creative writing degree. By that time I was in my mid-twenties. I then swapped the writing degree for media and cultural studies, which helped me to deconstruct my identity as a "person."

I really enjoyed my undergraduate experience of reading lots of books and writing essays, albeit finding them stressful as I used to leave things till the last minute. I even considered post-graduate study; at the time, I had this brilliant idea that I wanted to research up to PhD level. After deferring for a year, I lost interest in the topic and decided not to pursue it. Instead, I focused on self-realisation and being my true self. I vowed to myself that I would never go back to university.

I had a sleeping dream which challenged my view of academia.

In the dream I am at a university campus and in my first year. I am speaking to a young man and telling him this is my second degree and I'm in my first year. He tells me he's also pursuing his second degree and he's in his second year. I'm very much aware that the man is in his early to mid-twenties. In fact, most of the students around me range between 18 and mid-twenties. I'm a lot older than these students and yet I still look like I do now and feel the same. The students presume I'm their age.

Another thing I get about the dream is it's full of vibrant colours. Everyone is happy and fulfilled. I'm with someone I love and we're very happy.

When I woke out of the dream, I willed myself back and I found myself in the dream with other people and my partner. I woke up again. When I went back to sleep I was back in the dream. The third time I woke out of the dream, it was time to get up.

I was gutted to find myself in this reality. It felt to me like the dream was my real life and this reality was the dream. At first I wondered whether it was a parallel life experience, but I had a sense that it wasn't. I feel a kind of continuity linking my current life experience with the dream, which suggests that the dream is my future; or at least one version of my future. I also get a distinct impression that life is going on now and fast approaching me.

As I write this and think of undergraduate study, I still don't feel any passion for it. Then again, I did feel the same way before my first degree so I'll see how I feel in the future. After all, if I'm going to be here for a long time, I have plenty of time to pursue all kinds of topics that take my fancy.

Enocia

Related articles: Lost and Found; Forever Young; Predicting the Future; My Past, Present and Future Self; The Future is Joy